9 Months and Counting

We have now had the boys for nine months!  I am quite surprised they have been here so long, but I have learned that no one has any idea how long these things take.  I have been told they were going home within the next 30 days since August!  While I love them and want them to go back to the best situation possible, I must also admit that I am tired and anxious for some "me" time.  This jump back into the preschool years has been pretty overwhelming, but I would not trade this time for anything.

The boys are both sleeping through the night with only an occasional night terror (like once a month or so).  Little bit is sleeping in a "big boy" bed, and the baby bed has been put away.  I can control them much better when we go outside to get in the car now, as well.  I can trust that big brother will actually walk to the car and get in rather than running away - most of the time!  They are also aware of the need to be careful around the road and in parking lots.  I mean, they still need to be watched like a hawk because they will still run, but it is a major improvement from 9 months ago. 

They are still throwing everything, and big brother still refuses to eat most things.  We use timeout and a behavior chart to control tantrums the best we can, and those really have helped, but meltdowns are still a daily event in our house!

Right now, I am feeling that my biggest accomplishment is the relationship I have built with mom and dad!  I have become like a mentor - especially to mom.  We are able to discuss all kinds of things about what it will be like when she gets all of the kids back.  She already has the baby whom we had for only 6 weeks but ADORED!!  She uses me as a sounding board when making decisions about the baby.  I love that I can be that for her.  I tell her that is exactly what my mom does for me.  Even though she has her mom, their relationship is not the type that really supports that type of trust.  She asked me to be the emergency contact at the daycare because I am "the only person she trusts"!  That was the point at which I gave her my phone number - 8 months in!

After much prayer, advice and discussion, we invited mom and dad to our home for Christmas evening and then to my parents for dinner.  My agency was very upset with me for doing it, but we just had to weigh everything for ourselves and decided it was the best decision for us all.  We are 100% aware that addicts often relapse, but with them being 6 months and 9 months clean, we feel they are in a place where we can help by showing them love and support.  We had a wonderful evening and wish we could have had more time.

I am looking forward to how we can continue to be one of the their support systems as they continue to recover!  It is so heartbreakiing to me to see how big of hole they have dug and have to climb out of with very little encouragement from family!  I desperately want them to have their children back and believe they are great parents who got involved in some bad stuff!  My prayer is that God does miraculous things in their lives and uses them to make a difference for others!