It's the first morning since the boys arrived that I have gotten up before them! It is so amazingly quiet. I have just spent time with God and am drinking my coffee. This is the way I LOVE to start my day! I go back to work tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to it. I thrive on routine, and there has been no such thing the last 6 weeks. We are working on it, but we just aren't there yet!
The boys' attorney came to visit a few days ago. It was the first time I have met yet. He stayed for almost 2 hours, and we had a wonderful conversation about the boys. He was so impressed with their improvement since the last time he had seen them. He couldn't believe how well they were doing. He said Little Bit wouldn't even look him in the eye before, and he had been concerned that Big Brother needed to be tested because he didn't seem to know what was going on around him. I was actually shocked at that. I immediately told him that Big Brother is extremely smart, but I have discovered that he was just not exposed to the world around him. For instance, he loves dinosaurs but didn't know there were different kinds. He is loving learning about the different ones and their names. When I took him on the cereal aisle, he didn't recognize any of them - not even Lucky Charms or Fruit Loops. I told the attorney that I think most of what he had learned was from television, but that he is learning very quickly now. In fact, I told the older kids that they could teach him anything because he is like a sponge and learning everything! (By the way, I trust the kids to teach him appropriate things. That wasn't an invitation to really teach ANYTHING!) :)
Both boys slept through the night last night! That could be because they went to bed later. Maybe I need to reconsider bed TIME!? Big Brother is still sleeping in our room on his own bed. I don't plan to move him until after my trip to Europe next month. I think it will be better for things to stay the same for now.
Little Bit is a "parrot". He repeats everything we say. I can't count how many new words he learns everyday! My biggest problem with him right now is hitting - me, in particular! He slaps us in the face constantly. I was having a hard time figuring out how to change the behavior, but I think I've figured it out. I tell him "no" very sternly every time, and then I put him down. He loves to be held, and he understands that it is a big deal if I will not hold him as a result of the behavior! I have also been teaching him how to touch "nicely". So, he has been rubbing our faces MORE than hitting. He is getting it, but it is a slow process!
Side Bar: My 11 year old just came down with a card for me! I forgot it was Mother's Day!!
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Saturday, May 06, 2017
Night Terrors in Foster Children
Night Terrors....I've never experienced them before, but I have learned a lot about them in the last few weeks! Here are some things I've learned and put to use:
1. Anyone can have night terrors, but they are much more common in foster/adopted children. So, what is it? It is similar to a nightmare, but the person does not wake up during it. They can last 2-30 minutes, and they can be scary to watch!
2. You should not wake up a child having a night terror because it could make the situation worse.
3. You can't really prevent them, but they will eventually go away (so I'm told...we haven't gotten that far yet) with careful attention and encouragement.
4. You can break a night terror by taking the child to the bathroom. Apparently, they usually need to go anyway, and the act of having to do something brings them out of it a little bit - sometimes!
5. You should just reassure the child that they are safe and you are with them. You should also make sure they are in a safe area because they may pace or thrash around. They may have their eyes wide open but still be asleep!
6. If you can catch it as soon as it starts, it ends more quickly.
7. They usually happen 30-45 minutes after falling asleep - in the deep stage of sleep!
So, here is what I have figured out for our three year old! After being in our home for 5 weeks, we moved a twin bed into our room. His bed is about 3 feet from my side of the bed. His first night terror is usually 40 minutes after he goes to sleep. So, I am not in bed yet. However, moving him downstairs allows me to hear him sooner and get to him more quickly. I've been able to comfort him before he gets out of control.
I take him to the bathroom right away when I get to him.
By doing just those things, I have been able to cut the time from about 10 minutes to less than TWO minutes! And, I believe that has helped him to sleep through the night better. Before we moved him down, he was having at least one night terror each night AND waking up another 2-3 times each night! Not only was that a problem for him, but he was also waking up his 1 year old brother which made my night REALLY difficult! Now, he is rarely waking up after the first night terror!
This has been a great solution for us, and I think he is feeling much safer in our home. My hope is to be able to move him back upstairs into his bed in the next month or so!
1. Anyone can have night terrors, but they are much more common in foster/adopted children. So, what is it? It is similar to a nightmare, but the person does not wake up during it. They can last 2-30 minutes, and they can be scary to watch!
2. You should not wake up a child having a night terror because it could make the situation worse.
3. You can't really prevent them, but they will eventually go away (so I'm told...we haven't gotten that far yet) with careful attention and encouragement.
4. You can break a night terror by taking the child to the bathroom. Apparently, they usually need to go anyway, and the act of having to do something brings them out of it a little bit - sometimes!
5. You should just reassure the child that they are safe and you are with them. You should also make sure they are in a safe area because they may pace or thrash around. They may have their eyes wide open but still be asleep!
6. If you can catch it as soon as it starts, it ends more quickly.
7. They usually happen 30-45 minutes after falling asleep - in the deep stage of sleep!
So, here is what I have figured out for our three year old! After being in our home for 5 weeks, we moved a twin bed into our room. His bed is about 3 feet from my side of the bed. His first night terror is usually 40 minutes after he goes to sleep. So, I am not in bed yet. However, moving him downstairs allows me to hear him sooner and get to him more quickly. I've been able to comfort him before he gets out of control.
I take him to the bathroom right away when I get to him.
By doing just those things, I have been able to cut the time from about 10 minutes to less than TWO minutes! And, I believe that has helped him to sleep through the night better. Before we moved him down, he was having at least one night terror each night AND waking up another 2-3 times each night! Not only was that a problem for him, but he was also waking up his 1 year old brother which made my night REALLY difficult! Now, he is rarely waking up after the first night terror!
This has been a great solution for us, and I think he is feeling much safer in our home. My hope is to be able to move him back upstairs into his bed in the next month or so!
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