We have now had the boys for nine months! I am quite surprised they have been here so long, but I have learned that no one has any idea how long these things take. I have been told they were going home within the next 30 days since August! While I love them and want them to go back to the best situation possible, I must also admit that I am tired and anxious for some "me" time. This jump back into the preschool years has been pretty overwhelming, but I would not trade this time for anything.
The boys are both sleeping through the night with only an occasional night terror (like once a month or so). Little bit is sleeping in a "big boy" bed, and the baby bed has been put away. I can control them much better when we go outside to get in the car now, as well. I can trust that big brother will actually walk to the car and get in rather than running away - most of the time! They are also aware of the need to be careful around the road and in parking lots. I mean, they still need to be watched like a hawk because they will still run, but it is a major improvement from 9 months ago.
They are still throwing everything, and big brother still refuses to eat most things. We use timeout and a behavior chart to control tantrums the best we can, and those really have helped, but meltdowns are still a daily event in our house!
Right now, I am feeling that my biggest accomplishment is the relationship I have built with mom and dad! I have become like a mentor - especially to mom. We are able to discuss all kinds of things about what it will be like when she gets all of the kids back. She already has the baby whom we had for only 6 weeks but ADORED!! She uses me as a sounding board when making decisions about the baby. I love that I can be that for her. I tell her that is exactly what my mom does for me. Even though she has her mom, their relationship is not the type that really supports that type of trust. She asked me to be the emergency contact at the daycare because I am "the only person she trusts"! That was the point at which I gave her my phone number - 8 months in!
After much prayer, advice and discussion, we invited mom and dad to our home for Christmas evening and then to my parents for dinner. My agency was very upset with me for doing it, but we just had to weigh everything for ourselves and decided it was the best decision for us all. We are 100% aware that addicts often relapse, but with them being 6 months and 9 months clean, we feel they are in a place where we can help by showing them love and support. We had a wonderful evening and wish we could have had more time.
I am looking forward to how we can continue to be one of the their support systems as they continue to recover! It is so heartbreakiing to me to see how big of hole they have dug and have to climb out of with very little encouragement from family! I desperately want them to have their children back and believe they are great parents who got involved in some bad stuff! My prayer is that God does miraculous things in their lives and uses them to make a difference for others!
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Thursday, May 17, 2012
The Rocking Chair Song
When Mary Frances was an infant, a very good friend gave me a CD with personalized lullabies for "Mary". One of my favorite songs to play and sing was "The Rocking Chair". We listened to it in the middle of the night while I was rocking her back to sleep. After a while, we forgot about the song, and a few years later I sang it one night and she looked at me with big eyes and said she remembered it! I know that sounds crazy, but just recently we have picked it back up and she loves it. It is very soothing to her because she actually remembers me singing it when she was younger. It triggers something very special inside of her. I love that it does that, so we continue to sing it!
Anyway, I wanted to post the song for my own benefit and hers...to make sure we have the words one day if we forget it again! So, here it is...
The house is hushed and still, my other blessings are asleep.
You've waited all this time. Now to my arms you creep.
We walk all through the house, See the remnants of the day,
I push them all aside for we are on our way...
To the rocking chair. It's waiting in your room.
The peaceful rocking chair where sleep will find you soon.
We cuddle with a book. I talk about our day.
We sing a little song, and then a prayer we say.
We thank the Lord above for the blessings that He brings.
We thank Him for this love and list of many things,
Not least the rocking chair, our favorite place to be.
I should be feeling tired, but this is joy to me.
Looking at your face, I see it must be true.
The rocking chair brings sleep and quietness to you.
For mama it brings love. Mary, someday you will know,
A place to thank the Lord for the blessings He bestows.
Our faithful rocking chair - it's purpose now has served,
For, Mary, you're asleep. My prayers have all been heard.
Anyway, I wanted to post the song for my own benefit and hers...to make sure we have the words one day if we forget it again! So, here it is...
The house is hushed and still, my other blessings are asleep.
You've waited all this time. Now to my arms you creep.
We walk all through the house, See the remnants of the day,
I push them all aside for we are on our way...
To the rocking chair. It's waiting in your room.
The peaceful rocking chair where sleep will find you soon.
We cuddle with a book. I talk about our day.
We sing a little song, and then a prayer we say.
We thank the Lord above for the blessings that He brings.
We thank Him for this love and list of many things,
Not least the rocking chair, our favorite place to be.
I should be feeling tired, but this is joy to me.
Looking at your face, I see it must be true.
The rocking chair brings sleep and quietness to you.
For mama it brings love. Mary, someday you will know,
A place to thank the Lord for the blessings He bestows.
Our faithful rocking chair - it's purpose now has served,
For, Mary, you're asleep. My prayers have all been heard.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Birds and the Bees
Unfortunately, this post is about exactly what you're thinking!! I had to explain you know what to Mary Frances last week - in much more detail than I would have liked to. But, I had already gotten out of it three or four times. It was inevitable.
I think having boys AND girls in the family just brings up these types of conversations more than those with just boys or just girls. You know, they do notice the differences!
Anyway...the story you're waiting for...we have a book called the Flip Flap Body Book that explains how the human body works. It talks all about the digestive system, the senses, etc. It also talks about how babies develop in utero. We've had the book for several years, but it has just now sparked some interest. We read it a few weeks ago, and the kids learned that a sperm and egg have to meet to make a baby and then all about how the baby develops inside the mommy. There is no indication as to how the sperm and egg get together!
So, Mary Frances and I were alone in the van riding home talking about when she was a baby in my tummy. She said something about the sperm and egg meeting when she became a baby and how that made her a girl (the "female" sperm). Then a pause...and my heart sank. I knew it was coming, and my policy has always been that I will tell the truth if asked but only as much as is needed.
So, she said, "Hey! How do those little things that look like tadpoles get inside to the egg?"
I stalled every way I could think of, and then finally said, "well, the daddy has to put them in there." So, of course, she asked, "How does he do that?"
I stalled some more, even trying what has worked before..."It's really gross. Are you sure you want to know?" She did.
So, I finally said, "When a man and woman get married, they have sex."
And of course she asked, "What's that?"
"Well, are you sure you want to know? It really is gross!"
"Yes. No. Yes. I do."
So, I just blurted it out..."The man puts his penis in the woman's vagina."
"Ewww..."
Long pause....and a very concerned question..."Will that happen to me one day?"
"Yes it will. See, that's a good reason to not worry about getting married."
So, she says, "Yeah, but the main reason is because I don't want my tummy cut open!" (That's because she learned about C-Sections last year when everyone was pregnant!)
So, we had a discussion about how this is a very private discussion and she is welcome to ask me questions, but she promised me she would not tell anyone at school. I told her that their parents did not want to talk to them about this! I also emphasized the importance of being married and how God said that sex is only for husbands and wives.
So a few days later, Thomas makes a comment at bedtime and I look at Mary Frances and say, "I told you not to tell anyone." So she says, "but he's my brother!! I didn't tell anyone else. I promise!"
So, I ask Thomas if he has any questions, and he looks at me a little embarrassed but very inquisitive and says, "How does it work?"
I said, "Well Mary Frances obviously explained it to you. How do you think it works?"
"I just thought you got married and slept with each other for a month of maybe a year and then you had a baby!"
So, I said, "How did you think the sperm got to the egg?"
His answer was, "I just thought it was magic!"
So, then we have a little family discussion about sex and how it is only for husbands and wives. We also talked about privacy, and how we need to close the door when we use the bathroom, get dressed, etc.
So to end the discussion Thomas suggests that mommy and daddy should do it again so we could have another baby! This is just way too early to be talking about this stuff...but I'm glad they learned it from me!
I think having boys AND girls in the family just brings up these types of conversations more than those with just boys or just girls. You know, they do notice the differences!
Anyway...the story you're waiting for...we have a book called the Flip Flap Body Book that explains how the human body works. It talks all about the digestive system, the senses, etc. It also talks about how babies develop in utero. We've had the book for several years, but it has just now sparked some interest. We read it a few weeks ago, and the kids learned that a sperm and egg have to meet to make a baby and then all about how the baby develops inside the mommy. There is no indication as to how the sperm and egg get together!
So, Mary Frances and I were alone in the van riding home talking about when she was a baby in my tummy. She said something about the sperm and egg meeting when she became a baby and how that made her a girl (the "female" sperm). Then a pause...and my heart sank. I knew it was coming, and my policy has always been that I will tell the truth if asked but only as much as is needed.
So, she said, "Hey! How do those little things that look like tadpoles get inside to the egg?"
I stalled every way I could think of, and then finally said, "well, the daddy has to put them in there." So, of course, she asked, "How does he do that?"
I stalled some more, even trying what has worked before..."It's really gross. Are you sure you want to know?" She did.
So, I finally said, "When a man and woman get married, they have sex."
And of course she asked, "What's that?"
"Well, are you sure you want to know? It really is gross!"
"Yes. No. Yes. I do."
So, I just blurted it out..."The man puts his penis in the woman's vagina."
"Ewww..."
Long pause....and a very concerned question..."Will that happen to me one day?"
"Yes it will. See, that's a good reason to not worry about getting married."
So, she says, "Yeah, but the main reason is because I don't want my tummy cut open!" (That's because she learned about C-Sections last year when everyone was pregnant!)
So, we had a discussion about how this is a very private discussion and she is welcome to ask me questions, but she promised me she would not tell anyone at school. I told her that their parents did not want to talk to them about this! I also emphasized the importance of being married and how God said that sex is only for husbands and wives.
So a few days later, Thomas makes a comment at bedtime and I look at Mary Frances and say, "I told you not to tell anyone." So she says, "but he's my brother!! I didn't tell anyone else. I promise!"
So, I ask Thomas if he has any questions, and he looks at me a little embarrassed but very inquisitive and says, "How does it work?"
I said, "Well Mary Frances obviously explained it to you. How do you think it works?"
"I just thought you got married and slept with each other for a month of maybe a year and then you had a baby!"
So, I said, "How did you think the sperm got to the egg?"
His answer was, "I just thought it was magic!"
So, then we have a little family discussion about sex and how it is only for husbands and wives. We also talked about privacy, and how we need to close the door when we use the bathroom, get dressed, etc.
So to end the discussion Thomas suggests that mommy and daddy should do it again so we could have another baby! This is just way too early to be talking about this stuff...but I'm glad they learned it from me!
Monday, October 05, 2009
There's Something Different About the Baby
I am reading "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver. (I just realized that is was one of Oprah's Bookclub Choices!) Anyway, I have really enjoyed the book but wanted to share an excerpt with you about "the baby". I know I have heard people for years say, "There's just something about the baby...," and I find myself saying the same thing, but we just can't put our finger on what it is. I always add, "I love them all - not one more than the other, but there is still something different."
In this book, the character, Orleanna Price, describes it beautifully. I got chills reading it and wanted to share it with you - especially moms! Here is what is different about the baby...
"A mother's body remembers her babies - the folds of soft flesh, the softly furred scalp against her nose. Each child has its own entreaties to body and soul. It's the last one, though, that overtakes you. I can't dare say I loved the others less, but my first three were all babies at once, and motherhood dismayed me entirely. The twins came just as Rachel was learning to walk. What came next I hardly remember, whole years when I battled every single day of grasping hands and mouths until I could fall into bed for a few short hours and dream of being eaten alive in small pieces. I counted to one hundred as I rocked, contriving the patience to get one down in order to take up another. One mouth closed on a spoon meant two crying empty, feathers flying, so I dashed back and forth like a mother bird, flouting nature's maw with a brood too large. I couldn't count on survival until all three of them could stand alone. Together they were my first issue. I took one deep breath for every step they took away from me. That's how it is with the firstborn, no matter what kind of mother you are - rich, poor, frazzled half to death or sweetly content. A first child is your best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world.
But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after - oh, that's love by a different name. She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she's gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away. So instead you rock by the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams. Your heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She's the one you can't put down."
In this book, the character, Orleanna Price, describes it beautifully. I got chills reading it and wanted to share it with you - especially moms! Here is what is different about the baby...
"A mother's body remembers her babies - the folds of soft flesh, the softly furred scalp against her nose. Each child has its own entreaties to body and soul. It's the last one, though, that overtakes you. I can't dare say I loved the others less, but my first three were all babies at once, and motherhood dismayed me entirely. The twins came just as Rachel was learning to walk. What came next I hardly remember, whole years when I battled every single day of grasping hands and mouths until I could fall into bed for a few short hours and dream of being eaten alive in small pieces. I counted to one hundred as I rocked, contriving the patience to get one down in order to take up another. One mouth closed on a spoon meant two crying empty, feathers flying, so I dashed back and forth like a mother bird, flouting nature's maw with a brood too large. I couldn't count on survival until all three of them could stand alone. Together they were my first issue. I took one deep breath for every step they took away from me. That's how it is with the firstborn, no matter what kind of mother you are - rich, poor, frazzled half to death or sweetly content. A first child is your best foot forward, and how you do cheer those little feet as they strike out. You examine every turn of flesh for precocity, and crow it to the world.
But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after - oh, that's love by a different name. She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she's gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away. So instead you rock by the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams. Your heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She's the one you can't put down."
Sunday, September 27, 2009
My Baby
He's still a baby to me! He just doesn't look like a big kid yet! I know I didn't think of the other 2 as babies at this age, but he sure is!! There are certain things that he does that are so grown up, but he still does some of the really sweet baby things too (i.e. sucking his thumb, always wanting to be with mommy, etc.)I realize that he could turn the corner at any time. So, I am trying to savor every "baby" moment I get! This weekend, I just couldn't get enough of him with his fresh haircut, right out of the bath, and wearing that sweet white shirt! He just couldn't get any sweeter and HUGable!!!
"Gank You"
I have been working with Chase on saying the "y" in yellow and "th". He really wants to get it right. So, he works on it when I bring it to his attention, but when when we're not working on it, he still mispronounces the "th". Sometimes he says it like a "g" - as in "gank you" instead of "thank you", and other times he says it like an "s" - as in "sink" instead of "think".
He can finally say "yellow" instead of "lellow" and is so proud of himself. The first few days when he started saying it correctly, he would say "yyyyyyyyyy" really slow to be sure he got the letter right before he finished with "ellow".
I am going to miss the baby words, but it is time to move on and grow up, I suppose! So, tonight, I was thankful to hear the sweet baby words one more time as Chase was praying...
"God, gank you for our food, and all the houses. And gank you for the trees and the dogs. And gank you for mommy and daddy and Marilyn. Amen"
I will miss "gank you" very much!
He can finally say "yellow" instead of "lellow" and is so proud of himself. The first few days when he started saying it correctly, he would say "yyyyyyyyyy" really slow to be sure he got the letter right before he finished with "ellow".
I am going to miss the baby words, but it is time to move on and grow up, I suppose! So, tonight, I was thankful to hear the sweet baby words one more time as Chase was praying...
"God, gank you for our food, and all the houses. And gank you for the trees and the dogs. And gank you for mommy and daddy and Marilyn. Amen"
I will miss "gank you" very much!
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