It worked! Big brother starts weekend visits with his mom in one week! I am so excited for him. He wants to be home with his mommy and daddy very badly! He loves our family very much, but even after almost a year, he still identifies "the other mommy and daddy" as the real deal, as he should.
My body literally shook for two days as I waited to hear what happened in court when the discharge papers were announced. The ad litem said he would begin transitioning, and everyone finally agreed!
I felt like we were playing Russian roulette with this little life, but we had to push this along! The courts have just taken too long! If the parents had not moved their case into "drug court" they would already have the kids back because they had already fulfilled the requirements for CPS.
Anyway, it is over now! It worked, and he is going home within a month! Hallelujah! He needs to be home and I desperately need a break!
Little brother will begin weekend visits two weeks after Big Brother returns! It's going to be an interesting ride, but we are ready!
Friday, February 09, 2018
Thursday, February 08, 2018
Discharge Papers
I am so torn this morning. This past month has been very difficult. I am having a very hard time with the four year old's behavior, and I don't know if he is really getting worse or I am just fed up with it. He is only four, but it seems like the whole family is walking around on egg shells trying to avoid a confrontation with him. He gets mad if someone tries to play with him at a time he doesn't want to play, if a different person gives him juice than the one he asked, if we take away a toy because he hit someone or threw it after we told him not to. He's very testy and it is difficult to tell how he will respond sometimes.
I feel like he needs us because we have given him a stable, loving environment for ten and a half months now. He feels safe. He is a perfect student at school, but he starts his screaming and fussing in the parking lot outside of the school. I just don't know how much more I can take. It is so sad to admit, but I look forward to him going to school, going to visits, or going to bed every day. Like...I count the time between each. I feel like I just get little breaks while he is in those places from the craziness.
He has such a sweet heart, and I know he wants to please us, but I feel like I am being beat up every day. Our agency says it is time to turn in discharge papers on him. They are setting a 30 day time for him to find another home. I am distraught and relieved at the same time. My own children are going through so much right now and need more of my attention. I am busting my butt to give everyone what they need, and I am spent.
The thing is that the boys should have been back with their mom months ago! They told me at the beginning of August, when her case was moved from just CPS court to Drug Court (FIC Court), that the boys would be going home in 30-60 days. It is almost the middle of February now! A few weeks ago, I was told that they finally approved weekend visits and now they are pulling back on that!
The people in charge of this case (and there are a lot of them) are just being too unreasonable. I realize I don't know everything, but I know a lot because of my relationship with the parents. She has worked it out to stay with her mother and grandad in a home that is big enough for the family. It is not a permanent situation because she doesn't want to stay there, but it works for the time being. As she said, she is "legally married to the biological father of the children who wants to help" and yet the court is requiring her to move back into "a more controlled enviornment" at the rehab facility so they can watch her with the kids better. The first problem with that is the dad is not allowed on that property! She won't have access to a car or qulaity childcare there, either. She would have to ride public transportation with an overactive four year old, a two year old, and an eight month old! Where is the sense in that?
I do not want our boy to go to another home! I want him to go HOME to his mommy and daddy, but the court is just dragging it out for some reason. She has been clean for 10 months, has completed recovery and is ready to be reintroduced to life with her boys. Dad has been clean for 8 months and has almost finished his services. What is the deal?
So, now I am stuck in a very difficult place. If the courts do not let this child go back home in the next month, CPS will move him to another home. It will not be good for him, but it is not good for the other 6 people in our house for him to be here! How do you reconcile this? My heart is a mess this morning. On top of all these feelings, I have to call the mom this morning and tell her what is happening before she hears it in court this afternoon! How do I tell her I am giving up her child? How can I give up a child? What kind of person does that make me?
I feel like he needs us because we have given him a stable, loving environment for ten and a half months now. He feels safe. He is a perfect student at school, but he starts his screaming and fussing in the parking lot outside of the school. I just don't know how much more I can take. It is so sad to admit, but I look forward to him going to school, going to visits, or going to bed every day. Like...I count the time between each. I feel like I just get little breaks while he is in those places from the craziness.
He has such a sweet heart, and I know he wants to please us, but I feel like I am being beat up every day. Our agency says it is time to turn in discharge papers on him. They are setting a 30 day time for him to find another home. I am distraught and relieved at the same time. My own children are going through so much right now and need more of my attention. I am busting my butt to give everyone what they need, and I am spent.
The thing is that the boys should have been back with their mom months ago! They told me at the beginning of August, when her case was moved from just CPS court to Drug Court (FIC Court), that the boys would be going home in 30-60 days. It is almost the middle of February now! A few weeks ago, I was told that they finally approved weekend visits and now they are pulling back on that!
The people in charge of this case (and there are a lot of them) are just being too unreasonable. I realize I don't know everything, but I know a lot because of my relationship with the parents. She has worked it out to stay with her mother and grandad in a home that is big enough for the family. It is not a permanent situation because she doesn't want to stay there, but it works for the time being. As she said, she is "legally married to the biological father of the children who wants to help" and yet the court is requiring her to move back into "a more controlled enviornment" at the rehab facility so they can watch her with the kids better. The first problem with that is the dad is not allowed on that property! She won't have access to a car or qulaity childcare there, either. She would have to ride public transportation with an overactive four year old, a two year old, and an eight month old! Where is the sense in that?
I do not want our boy to go to another home! I want him to go HOME to his mommy and daddy, but the court is just dragging it out for some reason. She has been clean for 10 months, has completed recovery and is ready to be reintroduced to life with her boys. Dad has been clean for 8 months and has almost finished his services. What is the deal?
So, now I am stuck in a very difficult place. If the courts do not let this child go back home in the next month, CPS will move him to another home. It will not be good for him, but it is not good for the other 6 people in our house for him to be here! How do you reconcile this? My heart is a mess this morning. On top of all these feelings, I have to call the mom this morning and tell her what is happening before she hears it in court this afternoon! How do I tell her I am giving up her child? How can I give up a child? What kind of person does that make me?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
