All Dressed Up and Nowhere to GO

another journal entry...November 2006

This morning I got dressed with nice shoes, a crisp, button-down shirt and my pearls. I looked great, but after Ray C. left for work, I realized I had nowhere to go. I felt a little depressed as I went back to the closet. I put on my comfy shirt and jeans, took off the pearls and shoes, and started cleaning the dishes. Maybe I can wear my pearls tomorrow - to the grocery store and soccer practice!

God's Dwelling Place

Thomas is totally perplexed about how big God is and where He lives. We have a discussion about God daily! So, this morning we were putting together the USA Floor Puzzle (great learning toy). While Thomas was placing Maine in its spot "above" the rest of the states, he said, "Mommy, is this where God lives?" He was thinking that Maine must be heaven since it was on top of the other states. I informed him that God lives in all the states. If I'm wrong, maybe we should consider a move north rather than west!!

A Productive Day

I want to end every day with the thought that I was productive. That might mean I spent a lot of time with the children doing fun things -- reading, doing puzzles, taking a walk, going to the park, etc OR it could mean I finally cleaned the house. So, today, I am pleased.

I finished sewing cushion covers for my $5 denim sofa by 9:30 this morning! They look GREAT, and they're washable - 3 kids, remember!?! Soon after, Mary Frances got sick and threw up all over me, my computer table, and my bathroom. My sister was getting ready to leave, and I got a little stressed out. Then, I told Mary Frances to go take a nap in her bed because she was exhausted. First I took off the quilt and shams. As soon as she got in the bed, she threw up again! Well, I've already packed the extra sheets, so she slept in her sleeping bag while I washed her sheets! Thank goodness I thought to take off the quilt, right! She felt better after her nap, and was fine the rest of the day!

I finally got to work packing around 1:00. After a while, I realized I hadn't seen Chase in a few minutes. I frantically ran onto the screened in porch and asked the kids where he was. They had no clue, but the screen had a 2 year old size hole in it. I told the kids to look in the bedrooms, and I took off down the stairs. When I got to the bottom, I could see him at the end of our rock driveway (I was barefoot) IN the dirt road, running! He was running away from home!! Could this be part of the "terrible twos"? I caught up to him quickly. He was laughing the whole way! I was not!

So, a little while later, I tried to put him down for a nap -- not happening! I won't go into the details, but after 30 minutes of screaming and him escaping from the bedroom, I decided I'd rather him not nap today, wake up with the cranky attitude he's had the last 4 days after nap, and let him go to sleep easily tonight! He had a happy afternoon and asked to be rocked at 7:15! What a difference! I think my sister was right - he's just gotten used to the older kid's schedule. I already know he doesn't like being left out, and he knows they aren't napping! So, we'll try this approach and see how it works! Sorry, mama! I know you were counting on that break next week!

So, after everyone took a bath, ate, and got in bed, I painted the boys' dresser black! I know it sounds crazy, but if I don't get it done now, it will be months before I get to it, and I want their cowboy room to look good when we get to our new house! I plan to paint the nightstand tomorrow. Then, I'll be finished!

It's been an adventurous - as always - and productive - not so normal - day! Productivity is great, but ending the day, especially one with many obstacles, with a joyful heart and a good attitude is a blessing! Thank you, God, for changing my heart!

Mary "Princess"

Mary Frances has been so sweet and enjoyable the last few weeks. I have really been able to tell that she made it through the "terrible twos" with a good attitude. God IS good!

the baby

The "Terrible Twos"

What happened to my baby? He's only 22 months, but he is hitting the terrible twos hard already! He has been so sweet, easy going and cuddly since birth. Now, he says "no" with a mean look on his face, wakes up in a rotten mood and crying constantly, and pitches tantrums in the middle of my floor because I won't let him escape through the screen on the porch!

I never called them the "terrible twos" until Mary Frances started 2 weeks before her 2nd birthday! I didn't even realize Thomas had gone through them until he came out of it and his sweet attitude returned! Mary Frances' attitude hit us like a freight train! My parents took my sweet little girl home with them for a week, and I swear they brought back a different child! Every night was a dreaded nightmare. Her doorknob has been turned around for over a year so we can lock her in her room just to get her to sleep! (We always unlock it before we go to sleep.) It has been a very difficult year and about 4 months, but she is finally coming out of it. The last few weeks have proven her to be very sweet and obedient - a completely different child than I have known since before she turned two!

I am truly thankful that God has given me a small rest in between the two "terrible twos" episodes. I remember when Mary Frances started, I realized I was only a little ways into this with another one coming right behind her. The twos might not be SO terrible if you didn't have three of them back-to-back! Anyway, I am grateful that Mary Frances is at the end of this phase as Chase begins. I also appreciate what the children learn in this stage. I am praying that Chase will learn how to be independent and obedient and that he will learn to control his emotions.

As Chase was pitching a fit about going to bed tonight, I went back in to take him from Ray C. I rocked him and cried praying "God thank you for these children. This is so hard. Please help me to make it through this stage, and show me how to be a good mom." Then, Thomas asked me to rock him, and I rocked my baby and my 4 year old together in my great-grandmother's tiny little rocking chair. It was a joy to share those moments with my sons!

God, thank you for blessing me with three beautiful children whose thoughts are always on you. May they love you with all of their hearts and mature in their faith and love for you as their bodies grow and mature. You are good. I know you are with me - that you have not given these lives to me and left me alone. You are my example. Show me how to love the way you love and see things the way you see them and respond the way you respond. There is no place I'd rather be than in your presence and working with you! I love you, Lord! Amen!

Perspective

A sign posted by our friends' pool!

Shower or Sleep?

This is an entry I wrote in my journal in September. I wasn't blogging yet, but I was already keeping up with my random thoughts and feelings. I thought this might "ring a bell" with some other moms! If you aren't a mom of young children, this won't interest you!

Should I take my shower in the morning or at night? I wish I could smell good and look great without one. It sure would solve a BIG dilemma! I'm exhausted at night. I don't want to take a shower then. I want to unwind in front of the television or with a good book, then go to bed, preferably by 10:00 to prepare for however many times I am awakened before 5:45 when the baby wakes up for good! It is nice to be clean for bed, but I'm usually too tired for a shower.

So, the morning is the only other option (because I sleep during nap time). I'm up early after all. The only problem here is that all three kids get up one right after another. They aren't usually in a good mood that early. So, they'll not be happy with me leaving them to shower. They'll stand at the door and cry the whole time or get into a huge mess. After all, they are only 1, 2, and newly four.

My husband is a GREAT help, but he likes his sleep and has a hard time getting up in the mornings. (He will NEVER admit it, but it is the truth!) So, I beg him to get up early enough for me to shower before he leaves. He'll watch the kids, and I'm lucky to get 30 minutes so I can get completely ready! Otherwise, I'll find time later today! (Yeah, right! I'll look just like this when my husband comes home tonight! You can count on it!)

So, the question is, if he sleeps in and there is no time for me to shower, am I justified in being upset with him? OR, is it my fault for not having planned better? After all, I could have gotten up at 5:00, before the kids woke up. Maybe I should just do it at night! I really can't figure it out. Every week is different.

One day the kids will be old enough to watch themselves and I can take a Bubble Bath!! Until then, its quick showers whenever I can catch one. I'm just thankful to smell good today!

I would like to say that the kids now sleep until 6:30 or 7:00 most days. My husband still makes time for me to take a shower most days, but if there isn't time, I can catch one during Curious George! I also take showers at night! Guess what: my husband watches them before they go to bed! That way I'm not too tired, I smell good, and I am prepared for the next day! Bless you, single moms! I do not know how you do things! You are awesome!

Encouragement from Strangers

Here are some of the encouraging words I hear from strangers we pass on a daily basis.

1. "You're not having any more are you!?!"

2. "I want three kids - NOT!!"

3. "Are they all yours?" My friend with 6 kids also gets, "Do they have the same dad?" I'm
serious!!

4. When I'm having an especially difficult day - "It only gets worse!"

5. "Just wait 'til they get to be teenagers."

6. "This is the best time of your life!" (Lord, please tell me that she is wrong!)


7. "Enjoy the love and hugs while they're young because when they're teenagers they'll hate
you!" (Wow, thank you for that spectacular advice!)

8. After discovering I was pregnant with my first son, the cashier at Wal-mart said, "I'm sorry!" She had obviously been burned out by men. I responded by saying, "I'm not! I'm excited to have the opportunity to raise a Christian gentleman."

Some people are kinder. They don't actually say anything to me. They just point and whisper. I actually heard a woman at Steak and Shake last year telling her friend to turn around and look at us. She was telling her that one was standing on the bench (oh my goodness, what a horrible thing) and one was trying to escape. I'm sure the baby was crying. She had a disgusted look on her face as if to say "how could she have so many young children? She can't even keep up with them." The thing is that they were just acting like children. I found myself for the first year of the baby's life feeling so embarrassed to go anywhere with all 3 because I felt like a circus on wheels: two in the double stroller and one in the Baby Bjorn. People pointing mortified me. I don't want people to talk about me.

So, as we were sitting in Steak and Shake, I said, "I am so embarrassed." And our friend with us asked why. At that point I realized that I was complaining about having three kids out in public to a friend who had just adopted one because he couldn't have children. I felt so horrible for complaining about the blessings God has given me.

So, I am no longer embarrassed. Talk about me if you will, but I love all three of my children. When, I 'm not totally at the end of my rope, we have a great time! They hug and kiss me all day long. They tell me I am beautiful and the best mommy in the world. Who cares what anyone else thinks and says. My children matter more! I'll take some good compliments, but I'll just feel sorry for the people who missed out on the JOY of having children and only have negative words to say! I pray for them and then forget their comment!

Reduce Stress Challenge

Okay, this one is a hard one. This week, I'm going to try going to bed so I can get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. Now, for moms, this is hard because we don't know what is going to happen once we go to bed. The kids could decide to wake up really late, but they are more likely to wake up earlier than normal. You could sleep all night long OR you could be woken up at 3 a.m. by a child with a wet bed or someone throwing up. And, if your house is like mine, when one wakes up making noise, the whole house wakes up (except my wonderful husband who sleeps through anything, and that is okay, because he helps plenty when he is awake). So, then we are watching Cinderella at 3:30 in the morning. And by 6:30 a.m., I've already done more work than most people will accomplish the entire day --- 3 loads of nasty laundry, changed sheets, cleaned the floors, etc. So, let's just try. If I get in the bed at 10:30. I have a really good chance of getting 7 hours of sleep, but hopefully 8. So, I will go to bed between 10:30 and 11:15 every night this week. A good night's sleep does make for a better day!
Good Luck!

Thomas Makes a Discovery

Changing the World: One Bag at a Time

In the last year or two, I have become aware that Christians are known mostly for our stance on major, controversial issues like abortion. I am so aggravated that the environment is not more of a concern. Our God created this beautiful place and asks us to be good stewards of it. Instead, we are contributing to the destruction of it just as much as the next person. Preserving our environment has become more of a passion for me this year. I have made several changes in my daily life and in my home to preserve what God has given me. I realize that the best way to change the world is to start with myself and get people to join me. So, I would like to share with you the things I am doing to be a good steward of the gifts I have been given, and I would love for you to join me. If you do something I didn't include, please leave a comment. Let's save the environment together. These are easy changes that make a BIG impact!

1. I use canvas bags instead of plastic bags at the grocery store and other stores. I don't always remember them, but I use them when I can. I paid about $3-4 for each bag on ebay. One canvas bag holds the equivalent of 3-4 plastic bags. They have long handles to throw over your shoulder. So, I can get almost all of my groceries in one trip up my stairs with all 3 kids!! That's a benefit!

2. I started washing all my clothes in cold water. Warm water uses much more energy and really only makes a difference on greasy clothes, from what I hear!

3. I try not to turn on any lights unless it is necessary during the day. The sunlight is usually plenty with the windows open.

4. When we go on vacation, I turn the air conditioner up to 80 and close all the blinds to keep it cooler and not need the air conditioner!

5. We are working on becoming more fuel efficient. We are not buying new vehicles now, but we would like to buy cars that use less fuel - maybe hybrids. We are checking into it. I know they cost more and usually even out in price with the fuel, but the protection of the environment is the goal, not just saving money, although I am ALL for saving money!

6. Recycling of course, even if they don't pick it up. We have to take our recycling across the bridge because they don't pick it up, but we're going that way anyway. It really isn't a big deal to put your used containers in your car and throw them in a dumpster, right!!

7. We will be buying new appliances for our house. I am looking for appliances with the EnergyStar approval!

8. We also plan to use EnergyStar light bulbs in our new home. I think they use 75% less energy. That may not be the correct number, but that change alone is a HUGE value to the environment!

Thanks for reading! I hope you can join!

Reduce Stress Challenge

My AWESOME sister sent an e-mail to me about how to reduce stress - 36 ways, actually!! I was stressed just reading about all the wonderful ways to reduce my stress because there were so many that I can't remember them all. So, today, I will begin a weekly challenge. For those of you who visit regularly, you can work with me on reducing stress. This week's stress-buster is PRAYER!!! Everyday, let's spend time sitting and praying. The time may be different for each person, but the quality is more important. Pray for yourself, your friends and family, and thank God for the gifts He has given you!

Mighty Monster

I'm In Love

Treasure Hunting

Being still and keeping your hands to yourself during a shopping trip is almost impossible for a 3 year old. So, before we left to shop this morning, we made up a "treasure map" of things for Mary Frances to find during the day. She was looking for a red chair, a blue lamp with yellow flowers, a green bench, a pink flamingo, a green duck, a pink pig, and a purple angel. She found it ALL!! So, her reward was a HUGE ice cream cone. It was much more pleasant with her so busy!

Confession

My name is Jacqueline, and I am a Sweets-aholic. They make me feel so good when I am stressed. I know everyone eats for different reasons - comfort, taste, stress... Some people eat just when they are hungry. Imagine that!

I have come to understand that food is not supposed to be to fulfill any need other than actual hunger. But that is just not what we are taught - no offense to my parents because we ALL do it. I mean, what do you do when you get a raise - celebrate at your favorite restaurant. What do you do for your birthday - eat cake and ice cream. How about prom - fancy food and breakfast at 4:00 in the morning! What about if you lose 2-3 pounds your first week of dieting? What do you want? A big hunk of cheesecake because you resisted it every night, right!?!

So, here's the deal. God made healthy food for us to fuel our bodies - not to recreationally eat. We messed it up with man-made stuff like butter, cheese, mayonnaise, and ranch dressing. It all tastes good, but that isn't the way God made it, and it isn't good for us. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's sinful to doctor your food, but it is sinful to eat for fun. We are ruining our bodies and minds.

I knew I had a problem the day I was hiding in the laundry room eating hands-full of M&M's because I was stressed out with the children. Ray C. knew I had a problem the other day when we came home from the grocery store with all three kids - that was our mistake!! We stopped at the convenience store on the way home for something I forgot, and I sneaked a tube of cookie dough in my bag without him knowing. When we got home, I was shaking from stress. I could hardly get the end off of the bag open. I grabbed a knife as quickly as possible and tore through the bag. Ray C. came over and said, "Jacqueline, that is not going to help." I replied, "Oh yes it is!" I couldn't wait to get it in my mouth. He said, "That's not any different than an alcoholic." And again, I replied, "I know, but I need it right now!" As soon as I got that dough in my mouth, the shakes stopped and my whole body felt calm. Isn't that horrible?

So, how do I overcome this addiction? I can't do it without my God! He is so good, and He will deliver me from this problem. Only God can truly satisfy my need. Only He can comfort me when I am stressed. I've been memorizing verses like Psalm 121 - "My eyes look up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth!" and "In this world you will face many troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world." (I can't remember the reference, but I'll edit when I get home!) I pray for help, and I try to reduce my stress, but without God I cannot survive!

Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Callaway Butterfly Exhibit

These were the most beautiful butterflies we found!!! :)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Jacqueline, Mary Frances and Mary Anna (#1); Rosemary and Mary Anna (#2); lunch with the Purple Cow (#3);

Let's Hear it For the Girls

We've been waiting for months for this weekend to arrive.
We got to Pine Mountain after a very long drive.
The Lake is beautiful, the breeze is fine.
Mary Anna stayed in bed until quarter after nine.
Mary Frances woke up at 7:00 as expected.
In other words, my sweet dreams quickly became injected,
With sweet words saying, "Mommy, it's time to get out of bed."
"Let's go outside and see the pond," Mary Frances said.

So, now we're all awake and taking our showers,
Then we will be off to see the lovely flowers
At Callaway Gardens just a mile down the road,
We've left the chaos, we're welcoming a more relaxing mode.
We'll talk, and eat, and lounge and snooze
We'll laugh and cry and go to bed when we choose.

Girls need friends to chat and play
To talk and talk about their day.
We need friends who love us dearly
To help us see things a little more clearly.
God has given us the gift of friendship
And we plan to enjoy it on this trip.
We've been friends for 25 years.
So here's to the girls. Three big cheers!

Honey is Sweet

Soon after arriving at our "girls' weekend" destination, Mary Frances hugged my mom and said,
"Honey, I'm so glad you're in our story." (This is related to the earlier entry entitled "The Story of Life.") This was Mary Frances' equivalent to "I'm glad you're in my life!" Don't you know that made Honey's day?

Are You a Grupster?

Have you heard of grupsters yet? I just heard a report on the Today Show this morning. I couldn't hear it all due to the noise in my house. What I understand is that they are parents trying to maintain their own personalities and life with their kids. The main thing seemed to be that they were trying to not get lost in their children. Now, there may be more to this, but this sounds great to me. Parenting is wonderful, but I believe one of the best things I can do for my children is to maintain my interests and to continue to be me. I'm a better parent that way. I can't have my whole life wrapped up in them. I know many parents do, including many Christian parents, but I don't believe that God has only called me to be a parent. He has also called me to a pastor's wife, and that carries a lot of responsibility. He has given me an opportunity to make a difference in the world with the three children he has blessed me with, but He has also called me to minister to others. I have seen a lot of wonderful people lose themselves during the parenting years, and I don't want to be like that. I spend almost every minute with my children right now, but I try to go out with friends, date my husband regularly, and be creative as often as possible. Otherwise I would go insane, and then what good would I be for my children. I want them to see me reading, loving my husband, and enjoying the gifts God has given me.

Back to the grupsters - apparently, the law is no Barney or Wiggles (love it)! They wear clothes that are in style, not the only shirt without spitup on it and tapered jeans from ten years ago. They maintain their style - who they are. They have even started afternoon clubs in night clubs for the kids. It's an opportunity for the parents to share music with their children. It's kids music designed after pop and hip-hop!

So, what do you think? Are you a grupster? I can't say yet because I don't know enough, but what I've heard sounds good!

The Muffled Plunger

You know that sound you make when you talk into a cup? It's like a muffled yell, right? Well, I bet you didn't know that a plunger makes the same noise when you talk into the bottom of it! I do. Thomas demonstrated today just after I finished plunging with it!! I know you all probably don't believe all these crazy things happen to us, but we are definitely a house full of adventurous personalities. Thankfully, the plunger has not been used in the toilet in several weeks (to my knowledge) and I had just used it in the bathtub which was clogged with toilet paper! (Okay, now I'm telling just how crazy we are. I didn't even realize how funny it was until I just wrote it out. Just don't ask how the toilet paper got in there!! I honestly don't know!) So, I figure the bad germs were probably dead after sitting on the bathroom floor for weeks, and I just washed them off in the somewhat clean bathtub water, right!?! I prayed afterward that he doesn't get sick. What else can I do? Could you say a prayer for me?

I'm not SuperMom...

No matter how hard I try, I just can't be supermom! Being a mom is so hard! It is definitely the most difficult and exhausting thing I've ever done. I do laundry all week long, and I still can't stay on top of it. The day I finally mop the floor, someone spills milk at dinner and gets it all sticky again. As soon as I vacuum, someone drops a cracker and steps on it or spills cheerios all over the carpet. As soon as we get the toys picked up, someone empties the toy box looking for the toy at the very bottom. The dishes never end. The noise is louder than anything I've ever heard. The house looks like a wreck all day long and IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!

It would help if I could get up before the kids each day. I love to be the first one up - to pray and read my Bible while sipping coffee. But in order to do that, I'd have to get up at 4:30 a.m.!! Yeah! Chase usually wakes up between 5 and 5:30. I try reading my Bible as soon as we get up, but it just isn't the same. I'll read a few verses and then someone wants me to read a book, get something out of the closet, more juice... I don't know what to do. I can't put them to bed later because my functions shut down around 7:00. I need them in bed at 8:00 to have some time for myself. I read my Bible other times during the day. I get my time with God, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can start my days with Him again! There's nothing like it!

I love being a mom. It is worth every moment, but that doesn't make it easier. I used to tell my friends that anyone who does something 24/7 gets burned out no matter how much they love their job. It is so important to have time away. Unfortunately, I just don't have much of that right now. I am really looking forward to getting to Texas and having more opportunities. God has been good to me. He has allowed us to be in this relaxed environment - the island - during this difficult time with our children. Ray C. has been an incredible help to me. My hat's off to single mothers. I don't know how they do this! I am so thankful for Ray C., and I understand why God gave us two parents!

I'm sorry for the complaining, but I just needed to get it out this morning! God is good all the time. He will see me through this, and I will have an amazing story. I hope to be able to help others because of my trials!


Psalm 121 : "My eyes look up to the hills; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord; the maker of heaven and earth...." Thanks be to God!