Big Brother Returns Home

Big brother has been staying with mom the past two weekends, and it has been great!  We enjoyed some quieter times with just the little one, and big brother loved being with his mommy and daddy.

Both nights he returned home were a little emotional.  He would lay his head in his hands and weep saying, "I miss the other mommy and daddy."  But, he almost seemed shameful about it because he was so happy to be back home with us too!  It has been difficult to see his little heart torn between two families whom he loves very much.  However, each time I have told him how great it is that he misses the other mommy and daddy because that is who he should be with!  I have reassured him that we all love him so much but that the other mommy and daddy loved him first and that they have worked so hard this year to get better so he could come home.  He shakes his head in agreement and feels a little better.

He also kept telling me that he wanted us all to see each other...."I want Thomas, Mary Frances, Chase, the last daddy, and you to come to my new house." and "I want the other mommy and daddy to come to this house." and "I want you to keep seeing the other mommy and daddy."  It is obvious that his main concern is that he may go back and never see us again. 

So, yesterday was the big day!  I had already sent most of his belongings home over the past two weekends because he has accumulated A LOT since arriving in our home 336 days ago!  We've been talking about it here and there for two weeks.  The bigs kids gradually said their goodbyes since they would not see him before they left early for school.  We took Shamrock sugar cookies to school so he could celebrate with all of his friends, who were so sweet to him!  His teachers gave him big hugs and told them to come and visit.  I washed his bedding that he got at Christmas to take home with him and packed up the last of his clothes.  Our CPS worker (who is AMAZING) arrived at 2:00 to pick up both boys for their regular visit.  Only little brother would be returning later.  My mom came over to say goodbye (and to be moral support for me).  We gave big kisses and said "I'll see you on Wednesday!"  (He has a psychiatrist appointment tfor diagnosis and possible medication for treatment, and the ad litem asked me to attend).  He said goodbye, and they were off!  I told my mom I couldn't watch as they left.  That would just make me too sad!

My husband is overseas for two weeks - not the best timing for a child to leave! My mom stayed with me for a while to be sure I was okay, but I never got upset!  I told her I was fine and would probably have a good cry later, but I never did!  I wondered if something was wrong with me.  A child I have loved for almost a year has just left my home for good!  How could I not be upset?  Then, I reminded myself that there was just no reason to be upset.  We opened our home to him so he would have a safe place to stay and be loved while his parents were recovering.  He blossomed while he was here.  He has done great in school.  He sleeps peacefully through the night now and wakes in the morning with a joyful heart!  He has been prayed for my too many people to count.  His parents love him and can now provide him with a safe place to stay.  They have healed in many different ways and are prepared to be better parents.  AND...we get to continue a relatipnship with him!  What about that is sad? 

I'm sure I will have my moments, but this is definitely not what I expected!  I'm still waiting for the floodgates to open, but I am not as convinced that they will.  This is good.  This is really good!  We have all accomplished a major feat for the benefit of everyone involved!  That is something to shed joyful tears over!  Go and do big things Big Brother!  We are all behind you!