What Was He Thinking?

I've postponed this entry for a week or so because I want to be respectful to my husband! But my mother has laughed so hard at it, that I just can't keep it off anymore! It must go down in the books! So, I need to start by saying that my husband is a wonderful father, but he does not think the same way I do! As far as he is concerned, underwear is underwear....

Those of us who are mothers (and now my husband) know otherwise...It is NOT smart to put boxers on the child who still POOPS in his pants! If pictures were not so graphic, I would have taken then and posted! Instead, you have the face of the precious culprit of the event you are about to hear about...
I had just threatened the children that they should not wake me up for ANY reason while I was taking my very brief nap downstairs. They were to stay upstairs and play! Just as I began to doze off, I hear through the monitor..."Oh no..." Then, Thomas bursts into my room and says, "Mommy, this is very important. Chase pooped in his pants and it is all over the floor and the sofa." Of course, my response was, "What? How did that happen?" Thomas says, "He's wearing my boxers!"

So, I stomp out of my room (like an adult, of course) and I am greeted by Chase at the landing on the stairs. He is fulled clothed - shoes and all - but covered in poop - hands, legs, and the shoes that just traipsed down the stairs! I hadn't even been upstairs yet, and was already grossed out! So, again like an adult, stomp to the door and call my husband inside to see what HE did by putting boxers on this child! He was not very happy about my attitude, but I wasn't happy either, and you know that misery LOVES company!

So, as I am trying to explain to him why this is his fault, I am undressing Chase and wiping him down with wipies - still on the landing. I'm explaining to Ray C. that this has cost me my much-needed nap and that it will take FOREVER to clean up.

I finally get Chase undressed, and he is standing with his legs shoulder-width apart with poopy all down the inside of his legs. Well, Sugar (the dog) wanted to go up the stairs to check things out, and we were in her way, so she used the only entrance she had - in between Chase's poopy-stained legs! Guess what? The poopy disappeared as she ran through! YEP!!

So then, I yell at Ray C., "Look what you did! Now you have to clean the dog!" And do you know what he did? He took her outside to see in the sunlight where the poopy was and then had the NERVE to come back in and tell me he didn't see anything on her! As you can imagine, I gave him a look he will not forget and explained to him that the dog is poopy-colored, and I didn't care if he saw it! I reminded him that she hadn't had a bath in 3 WEEKS anyway, so he'd better bathe her NOW!!

I would like to clarify something here - I do not normally order my husband around or speak to him this way! I was VERY aggravated this particular day and behaved in a way that I should not have. I do not believe it is appropriate to speak to anyone this way, but I let my anger get the best of me! (I know you all are laughing, but this is the truth!! I don't want anyone thinking this is normal! The poopy is normal - the behavior, not so normal!)

ANYWAY...as he takes Sugar to the bath, I wipe up what is remaining and get a PULL-UP on the child! I then proceed to the upstairs where the actual mess is! OMG, you just can't imagine what I saw! Poopy smeared all in the carpet and sofa (luckily there is a cover on the sofa). Whole chunks (not sure what they are called) of poopy were in the play house. This is obviously where it all started because that was easy to clean up!

I then began to pile up blankets and the sofa cover - anything in the vicinity that might have been tainted. These all went through a few loads of wash! I wish you could see my face, even now! Then, I got on the floor where the smell was AWFUL! I had to wipe up the mess with toilet paper before I could even try to clean up the stains. After, a few rounds of Resolve, some heavy Lysol spray, and even Febreeze, the room still smelled awful! I had to come back up the next day to do another round of Resolve which seems to have gotten it!

Chase still wears underwear to school, but he is in pull-ups at home! I just can't handle any more poopy! How much can one person take?

Yuck...I think this is the grossest poopy story you'll find on this blog, but there are some other funny ones! You should look around! The moral of the story is....DRESS YOUR KIDS YOURSELF!!!